If you are a parent reading this then you are probably wondering why you cannot get through to your teenager and if you are a teenager, then the topic hits home. You feel that most of the time no one, including your parents, understands you. What most parents and teenagers fail to understand and decipher are the mixed signals which teenagers give out at this age.
The non-comprehension leads to a lot of confusion and misunderstanding which precedes an argument most of the time. This article isn’t about decoding teenage mood swings but helping you see how the confusion that ensues can be tempered a bit by debunking some misconceptions. So let’s just dive into it.
Why Parents Always Misunderstand Teenagers?
Here are some misconceptions the parents have about their teenagers. Let’s try to understand the reasons behind them.
Teenagers seem to be lounging on the sofa forever…hence is lazy.
They are not lazy but their active lifestyle just isn’t able to match up with the amount of sleep they are able to fit into their schedule. Most teenagers have so many classes and activities lined up during the day that it hardly gives them a time to take a breath. Then there is the social life which is full swing too at this phase. The dorm parties, fresher parties, birthdays, and coffee dates with friends need to be accommodated in as well into their packed to the brim schedule.
But the human body catches up on the lack of sleep and they succumb to it, falling asleep whenever they can find a place. So you might not see your teens for more than five minutes a day for a week and then suddenly they are forever found on the lounge sofa, catching a shuteye. Let them build their schedule according to their liking and not how you manage your daily schedule. (How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Teenager?)
Teenagers run on a different biological clock altogether than adults which makes them function differently and sleep at odd hours too. Even science cuts the teenagers some slack by explaining that the sleep-inducing hormones which get released in adult brains by 8.30 in the night, get released in teens as late as 11 P.M, irrespective of their need to get early morning for college. That is another reason why your teenager, woken up by you at 6 A.M doesn’t want to get out of the bed easily and even if he does, he seems muddleheaded for an hour or so.
They aren’t kids nor adults. Let’s get that straight.
In their teenage years, most teenagers go through a metamorphosis. Their voice becomes different, they seem to outgrow most of their clothes and their appetite matches that of an adult, even more at times, but it does not mean that they are ready to take on the world and its complexities on their own. Their brain is still developing and trying to piece together the puzzle of life. (Essay on Coronavirus, COVID-19, Symptoms & Prevention)
Expecting them to behave like an adult is a fallacy on the part of the parent. The learning curve of humans is best when they are kids and toddlers and then as they grow, it starts to take a downward slope during teenage years and later during adulthood. They might be learning various skills and gathering knowledge but are still unsure as to how to use the information. So your teenager might know where the flour is kept and he may even take it down and know how to make pancakes. But will he make them for himself or for you? Well, that is quite a debatable one!
They can’t seem to make up their mind. It doesn’t mean they are confused.
With a multitude of choices available even to adults, the teenagers too, are swamped with choices at every stage. It could be something as grave as selecting the specialty subject for their high school or college and dating to something small as choosing between muesli and cornflakes for breakfast.
Teenagers are juggling a million things a day right from studies and handling their teachers and parents to managing their extremely active social and love life. They might make up their mind one day for a particular thing only to change the decision days or sometimes even hours later when they are presented with more facts and better options. (Having The Sex Talk with Your Teenage Boy or Girl)
They don’t want to take a leaf out of your book…because they are busy writing their own
If your teenager doesn’t express his desire to take over your business or conforms to your ideas of a good career option, that is because she knows what she is good at and she knows where she wants to be ten years down the lane. Difficult to comprehend by parents, teenagers today are far wiser and sorted out then they are given credit for.
They are fully aware of their capabilities and the options that they have in their kitty to choose from. Let’s give them this one and try to see the world from their glasses and it is surely going to look much more beautiful than we imagined it is.
So how was it, guys? I hope it helps you a little in your parenting struggles. If you liked the article, or have some opinions on the same, share them away in the comment section below. Thank you. 🙂